This is really quite wonderful. Thank you Margy MacMillan for sending it my way!
Although scientists typically insist that their research is very exciting and adventurous when they talk to laymen and prospective students, the allure of this enthusiasm is too often lost in the predictable, stilted structure and language of their scientific publications. I present here, a top-10 list of recommendations for how to write consistently boring scientific publications. I then discuss why we should and how we could make these contributions more accessible and exciting.
Table 1. Top-10 list of recommendations for writing consistently boring publications.
|• Avoid focus|
|• Avoid originality and personality|
|• Write l o n g contributions|
|• Remove implications and speculations|
|• Leave out illustrations|
|• Omit necessary steps of reasoning|
|• Use many abbreviations and terms|
|• Suppress humor and flowery language|
|• Degrade biology to statistics|
|• Quote numerous papers for trivial statements|