{"id":41,"date":"2008-05-17T15:57:31","date_gmt":"2008-05-17T21:57:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.minkhollow.ca\/KB\/Blog\/?p=39"},"modified":"2014-09-12T11:40:08","modified_gmt":"2014-09-12T17:40:08","slug":"videogames-ya-got-trouble","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/minkhollow.ca\/beckerblog\/2008\/05\/17\/videogames-ya-got-trouble\/","title":{"rendered":"Videogames \u2013 Ya Got Trouble!~"},"content":{"rendered":"Approximate Reading Time: <\/span> 3<\/span> minutes<\/span><\/span>

Some years ago I was at a conference where Dmitri Williams<\/a> was talking about the social history of videogames. He made reference to this song as a way of illustrating how the societal reaction to videogames isn\u2019t really new. Since then I\u2019ve thought about re-working (OK maybe perverting a little) the lyrics to match the current denunciation of our newest medium (with apologies and all due respect for the original composer <\/span>Meredith Willson (1902-1984). For a dictionary of the original terminology, see: http:\/\/www.sewickley.org\/~kcerny\/LowerSchool\/divisionmusical\/TheMusicManDictionary.htm<\/a> <\/span><\/p>\n

Ya Got Trouble<\/a> (original lyrics found here)<\/span><\/p>\n

Read on to see my updated lyrics….<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Harold:
\nWell, either you’re closing your eyes
\nTo a situation you do now wish to acknowledge
\nOr you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
\nBy the presence of the game consoles<\/span><\/strong><\/em> in your community.
\nYa got trouble, my friend, right here,
\nI say, trouble right here in River City.
\nWhy sure I’m a board game<\/span><\/em><\/strong> <\/span>player,
\nCertainly mighty proud I say
\nI’m always mighty proud to say it.
\nI consider that the hours I spend
\nWith the chess pieces<\/span><\/em><\/strong> in my hand are golden.
\nHelp you cultivate horse sense
\nAnd a cool head and a keen eye.
\nNever take and try to give
\nAn iron-clad leave to yourself
\nFrom a Queen’s Gambit Declined<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?
\nBut just as I say,
\nIt takes judgement, brains, and maturity to score
\nIn a strategy<\/span><\/em><\/strong> game,
\nI say that any boob kin take
\nAnd shoot a grunt in Halo<\/span><\/em><\/strong>.
\nAnd they call that sloth.
\nThe first big step on the road
\nTo the depths of deg-ra-Day–
\nI say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon,
\nThen beer from a bottle.
\nAn’ the next thing ya know,
\nYour son is power leveling<\/span><\/em><\/strong> for money
\nIn Wow<\/span><\/em><\/strong>.
\nAnd list’nin to some big out-a-town Pro<\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\nHearin’ him tell about Mario Kart Wii<\/span><\/em><\/strong>.
\nNot a wholesome Tour de France<\/span><\/em><\/strong>, no!
\nBut a race where the wheel ain\u2019t even attached to the car<\/span><\/em><\/strong>!
\nLike to see some stuck-up Waluigi<\/span><\/em><\/strong> <\/span>
\nSittin’ on a Klein Elite<\/span><\/em><\/strong>? Make your blood boil?
\nWell, I should say.
\nFriends, lemme tell you what I mean.
\nYa got one, two, three, four, five, twelve characters on the track<\/span><\/em><\/strong>.
\nBots<\/span><\/em><\/strong> that mark the diff’rence
\nBetween a gentlemen and a bum,
\nWith a capital “B,”
\nAnd that rhymes with \u201cV\u201d and that stands for <\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>Vid’ya-game<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>!
\nAnd all week long your River City
\nYouth’ll be frittern away,
\nI say your young men’ll be frittern!
\nFrittern away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
\nGet your Mii past the finishline<\/span><\/em><\/strong>,
\nNever mind gittin’ Dandelions pulled
\nOr the garbage put out<\/strong><\/em><\/span> or the dishwasher emptied<\/strong><\/strong><\/em>.<\/span>
\nNever watering the lawn<\/strong><\/span><\/strong><\/em>
\n‘Til you have no real life left<\/strong><\/em><\/span>
\nOn a Saturday night and that’s trouble,
\nOh, yes we got lots and lots a’ trouble.
\nI’m thinkin’ of the kids in the baggy pants<\/span><\/em><\/strong>,
\nPre-teens<\/span><\/em><\/strong>, peekin’ in the arcade<\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\n<\/span>Window after school, look, folks!
\nRight here in River City.
\nTrouble with a capital “T”
\nAnd that rhymes with \u201cV\u201d and that stands for Vid’ya-game<\/span><\/em><\/strong>!
\nNow, I know all you folks are the right kinda parents.
\nI’m gonna be perfectly frank.
\nWould ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
\nOn while they’re loafin’ around that arcade<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?
\nThey’re tryin’ out Red Bull<\/span><\/em><\/strong>, tryin’ out Jolt<\/span><\/em><\/strong>,
\nTryin’ out 42 ouncers<\/span><\/em><\/strong> like \u00dcbergeeks<\/span><\/em><\/strong>!
\nAnd braggin’ all about
\nHow they’re gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Dentyne<\/span><\/em><\/strong>.
\nOne fine night, they leave the video arcade<\/span><\/em><\/strong>,
\nHeadin’ for the LAN party<\/span><\/em><\/strong>!
\nLibertine men and Scarlet women!
\nAnd Hip-Hop<\/span><\/em><\/strong>, shameless music
\nThat’ll grab your son and your daughter
\nWith the arms of a jungle animal instink!
\nMass-staria!
\nFriends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground!<\/span><\/p>\n

People:
\nTrouble, oh we got trouble,
\nRight here in River City!
\nWith a capital “T”
\nThat rhymes with \u201cV\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\nAnd that stands for <\/span>Vid’ya-game<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>,
\nThat stands for <\/span>Vid’ya-game<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>.
\nWe’ve surely got trouble!
\nRight here in River City,
\nRight here!
\nGotta figger out a way
\nTo keep the young ones moral after school!
\nTrouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble…<\/span><\/p>\n

Harold:
\nMothers of River City!
\nHeed the warning before it’s too late!
\nWatch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
\nThe moment your son leaves the house,
\nDoes he pull his pants down below the hip<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?
\nIs there a callus on his thumb<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?
\nA game guide<\/span><\/em><\/strong> hidden under the coffee table<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?
\nIs he starting to memorize lines from GTA IV<\/em><\/strong><\/span>?
\nAre certain words creeping into his conversation?
\nWords like ‘zerg<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?”
\nAnd ‘RTFM<\/span><\/em><\/strong>?”
\nWell, if so my friends,
\nYa got trouble,
\nRight here in River city!
\nWith a capital “T”
\nAnd that rhymes with \u201cV\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/strong>
\nAnd that stands for <\/span>Vid’ya-game<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>.
\nWe’ve surely got trouble!
\nRight here in River City!
\nRemember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!
\nOh, we’ve got trouble.
\nWe’re in terrible, terrible trouble.
\nThat game with the 40-man raids<\/span><\/em><\/strong> is a devil’s tool!
\nOh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!
\nWith a “T”! Gotta rhyme it with \u201cV\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/strong>!
\nAnd that stands for <\/span>Vid’ya-game<\/span><\/em><\/strong><\/span>!!!<\/span><\/p>\n