[My name is Katrin. And I am a scientist. 😉 ]
Note: no disrespect is meant to any of the real 12-step programs.
1. We admitted we were powerless over science—that our lives had become uncorrelated.
2. Came to believe that an authority better published than ourselves could restore us to our senses.
3. Made a decision to turn our data and our labs over to the care of professors emeriti /as we understood them/.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our notes.
5. Admitted to social constructivists, to ourselves, and to principal investigators of related projects the exact nature of our data.
6. Were entirely ready to have journal referees remove all these defects of our submitted papers.
7. Humbly asked those better funded than us to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had corrected, and became willing to cite them in all our papers.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure their annual reports.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were found out promptly corrected it.
11. Sought through analysis and verification to improve our conscious contact with /real data/, asking only for validity in our sample and the power to publish it.
12. Having had a rude awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to department heads and granting agencies, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.